Simon Mediation - Dan Simon, M.A., J.D.


Dan Simon, M.A., J.D.

Transformative Mediation

By Dan Simon


I use the term “transformative” to distinguish what I do from the more manipulative approaches to mediation (some other mediators see it as their goal to move the parties in a certain direction, and they use a variety of techniques to do so). “Transformative” reflects the reality that people generally see their conflict differently after a good conversation, but not because the mediator pushed them in a certain direction.

My approach simply involves helping you and the other party have the best possible conversation. By best possible, I mean a conversation in which you and the other part(ies) get to say what you want to each other, without concern that the mediator will cut you off or re-direct you in any way. You will get to ask the others whatever questions you want to ask them. You’ll also get to make your own choice about whether and when you meet with the other parties, to meet just with the mediator, or to consult with anyone else you want to talk to. In sum, you will get to make your own decisions about everything.

I’m there to support you in making those decisions. To enhance the conversation, I’ll sometimes reflect what one person has said or summarize what more than one person has said. The emphasis is always on your choices about what you want to do next. This approach is the one that is most likely to lead to progress with your situation, often including a complete settlement of whatever you’re disputing.

"I recently had a phone consultation with another mediator who was working with one of my clients. From the moment we got on the phone, the guy never stopped talking. No wonder my client felt overwhelmed in his presence. When you consult with Dan Simon, he never stops listening. This is what distressed couples need. They do not need another person talking at them or pressuring them into making critical decisions about their lives before they're ready."  (Here's Betsy's website.)
- Betsy Sansby, LMFT, Minnetonka, MN